Intro Guide to Tying with Me!
Hi there! So you wanna tie? Amazing! This guide acts as a vehicle for informed consent - assisting people who are interested in tying with me, whether on a personal or professional level!
I strive to abide by R.A.C.K. and P.R.I.C.K. principles!
Keep scrolling for basic resources on the risks of Rope Bondage (if you are totally new), how I tie, my gear, and my education/experience so you can make an informed decision for our potential time together!
Risk/Injury Disclaimer
I am unable to assist financially if you incur an injury. I am upfront about this limitation. Anyone who ties - both Top and bottoms - assumes the risk of injury to themselves.
I will strive to provide other forms of support to the best of my ability!
FAQ
If booking with you for a service, is there a cancellation/rescheduling policy?
Yes, there is!
If you are needing to cancel, please let me know as soon as possible. I encourage us to reschedule right away (for not additional cost).
If you need to cancel the same session or lesson a second time and wish to find a new date/time, I will ask for a $35 rescheduling fee that will not go towards your session or lesson costs.
If you fail to reach out to reschedule a session or lesson within 1 month from the cancelled booking, I will treat this as a new booking and will require a new non-refundable deposit.
If you are needing to reschedule due to COVID, rescheduling fees can be waived.
I reserve the right to refuse services for clients with poor communication and repeated cancellations.
What should I wear?
Whatever makes you comfortable! However, here are some factors to consider:
- Body temperature - being too cold can make rope more unsustainable (depending on what we do). But being too warm can lead to overheating. Breathable fabrics seem to work best. You can be as covered up as you’d like tho!
- Jute dust gets everywhere (little dust fibers from the rope frictioning on itself). Consider how that makes you feel if jute dust gets on specific clothing.
- Consider clothing with hardware (big buttons, wire bras, buckles) and how they feel under pressure from rope (if bottoming) or how they can feel when moving your body around.
- Consider delicate fabric against rope friction (such as lace) or clothing that is likely to get finger-hooked and ripped (like fishnets).
Do you tie TK's/Takate Gotes/Gotes/Box Ties?
I do not.
Has anyone you've tied sustained any injuries?
Nothing permanent, thankfully! I've had one bottom experience acute weakened grip strength after being in a TK during a partial that moderately supported their upper body weight (with the upline attached to their back).
It didn't impede their day to day life and after a month or so full strength returned. I offered check-in's and any other non-financial related support they needed.
We are still close to this day, and continued to tie for approximately 3 years (our decision to no longer tie is for unrelated reasons - but we still on good terms!).
What do you consider a 'rope injury'?
Mostly anything that requires long term monitoring and/or treatment of some kind, combined with a shift in how we would 'normally' tie.
Strains or tears, damage to joints, loss of movement/mobility in a limb, weakened grip strength, concussion, etc are all examples.
I do not consider most numb patches/loss of sensation injuries - with the exception of worsened symptoms that are prolonged and long term and/or expand the surface area over time (example of cumulative nerve damage).
While I may not consider my rope as causing many injuries, I do tie with bottoms who tie with several other Tops several times a week on a regular basis and have navigated injuries to meed their needs and risk profile!
It is commonly considered that bottoms who tie regularly will experience some form of an injury. I do not believe the mere existence of an injury means any explicit moral failing on anyone's part.
Rope is edge play. Things can and will go South at some point if you participate in it frequently enough.
Can I mark from being in rope?
Yes! It's less likely in floorplay for marks beyond impressions of the rope in the skin - but never impossible. On the low end, most folks walk away with impressions of the rope on their skin that may last a few hours, or potentially the rest of the day. There is also rope burn from the rope being pulled through parts of a harness and the speed of the rope rubbing on that skin may leave a blister (worst case).
If the session is more intense - particularly involving suspension with transitions (moving someone while suspended into various shapes), you may experience bruising, blisters, and/or abrasions.
Depending on your body, you may even scar from blisters/abrasions.
Clothing can help mitigate a lot of these from occurring.
How can I prepare for our tie?
Be fed - but not stuffed. Heavier, denser meals may not be best. But we want you nourished. Aim to eat a meal 1-2 hrs before tying.
Be hydrated! Water is lubrication for our nerves!
Stretch & Warm Up - A warm body means less risk of pulling/straining or damaging our nerves.
Bring any comfort items for aftercare - snacks, blanket, etc.
Does our tie have to be sexual?
Nope!
Generally speaking, my personal tying interests with established partners may lean in that direction (simply because I prefer my personal tying relationship to lean less platonic). But for paid private sessions? Absolutely not!
I've never been suspended before - can you suspend me?
Maybe at some point! I will not suspend someone their first time in rope! I am generally only comfortable suspending someone new-to-me for our first tie if they are an experienced bottom in suspensions.
For paid sessions, if your end-goal is suspension, I'm happy to work with you over the course of several sessions to see if we can get you there (and for a discounted rate if deposits for all are paid upfront)!
What's the process for booking with you for a paid session?
- You will read the rest of this page. If new to rope or a beginner, you will be required to thoroughly review the risk information provided below before reaching out.
- Once you have discerned that you'd like me to tie yah up (with risk awareness) - you will submit a basic inquiry form here.
- References of some kind are required! This can be Pro Doms you've booked with, community contacts, past partners, etc. Please provide a way for me to contact them (email, fet, instagram, etc)
- I will review and likely initiate my own vetting process. This may mean it could take a little time to hear back from me.
- If you meet my vetting standards, we can then proceed with discussing a day/time (unless I've only advertised specific availability).
- You will complete my negotiation form (which I will directly link to you). Please be thorough. I will adore you the more information you give me! We will have the chance to discuss and finalize negotiations day of!
- We will discuss a final rate!
- You will sign your waiver and send me your deposit - officially securing your session!
- I will send you a Google Calendar Invite with my location details.
- We will meet, you will provide cash upon arrival and we will have allll the fun!!!!
- Maybe you reach out to me to do it alllll over again!
Do you sliding scale or discounted rates or trades?
Outright discounted and sliding scale rates are available for rope lessons only and only to SW'ers, BIPOC, and Fat Folks.
I accept trades for lessons and sessions to anyone else on a limited basis when I'm less strapped for money.
Rates for events, tastings, demo's are negotiated on a case by case basis.
Resources for New Rope Folks!
If you're new or new'ish to rope, I'd like to ensure informed consent is established! Rope carries significant risks that could lead to temporary or permanent injuries.
Please review the following materials before contacting me!
Resource Links
More About Me...
Below speaks to my practices, education and background!
What Kind of Rope I Tie With
I primarily tie with Ogawa Jute. Rope used as hardpoints on trees are tied with Posh.
If jute is not within your risk profile as uplines, I do have a few hanks of posh if that is desired!
If you have an allergy to grass, you may have a jute allergy. Unfortunately, I do not have a full kit of rope made of other material - if you do, we can use that!
How I Tie With My Rope
I tie weekly, if not more. I wouldn’t say I’m the most gentle with my rope - although I wouldn't describe my style of tying as very flashy or dynamic.
My rope touches the ground of dungeons, my own personal apartment (home to two cats), the outdoor ground, and other various places. My rope has been in mouths, between toes, and other sweaty crevices - and the occasional crotch with a layer of clothing as a barrier.
My Rig
I have an A-Frame Suspension rig made with Swingset Brackets and Douglas Fir Wood. An Architect friend helped construct it for me and it’s currently been serving me well since Sept. 2023, with no issues thus far (knocks on rig).
I regularly suspend off it with as much as 300lb+ humans (myself included)! It’s a sturdy boss ass bitch, if I do say so myself. I estimate the safety factor is somewhere between 1:5 and 1:10 for a 300 lbs human - although it's not entirely possible for me to promise a certain safety factor.
My Gear
- Stainless Steel Suspension Ring
- 36kN Kong 4Rig Rigging Plate
- Various carabiners and nylon slings rated 23 kN or higher
- 6ft Hardpoint Bamboo
- Various smaller bamboo poles for predicaments.
- Emergency Medical Shears
I use gear is weight rated to the standards suitable for Rock Climbing. You’ll notice some of what I list will mention ‘kN’ (kilonewtons). It is recommended that quality gear suitable for withstanding dynamic load should be at 22 kN or above.
How I Care For My Rope...
new rope treatment
I put new raw/unprocessed jute through a light processing (mild frictioning, then singed twice, and conditioned with jojoba oil). Newly processed jute starts out as my uplines, kept separate form my body kit for easier inspection/oversight.
After worn in, they are cycled into my body rope until they are turned into shorties and/or fully retired.
UPKEEP & MAINTENANCE
I inspect my upline rope before or after I tie. Newly processed uplines get a re-conditioning after 2-3 weeks of use, then again right before I cycle them into my body kit.
Conditioning and rebalancing (making sure all individual strands twist evenly on each other to share strain/stress - mitigating breakage) occurs every 2'ish months, or more often as needed!
bodily fluids
You should expect my rope has been in contact with sweat, body oil, and saliva/drool! If play is expected to get sexual or bloody, I take care to opt for fluid bonded rope or synthetic rope that can be washed.
I use my jute as crotch rope with clothing as a barrier.
LIFECYCLE OF MY JUTE ROPE
Once processed, new jute is used as my uplines (the rope that attaches to rope on the body to a hardpoint). Rope loses it's strength over time with repeated use.
After 2-3 months, I cycle this rope into my body kit. Where it is used for about a year before living the remaining 6'ish months of its life as a shortie (shorter cuts of rope) or saved as 'discard' rope for dirtier play or projects that would normally make it unusable after!
My Rope Room
This is where I have all my rope lessons, sessions, and most of my personal tying time.
You should probably know some things about my home before considering tying together!
- My apartment is on the top floor (2 flights).
- My home has two cats and shit gets dusty really fast (jute doesn't help).
- I also live with my best friend, Becca. The rope room has a door that can close for privacy if Becca is home. However, their room is adjacent to this room.
- Our home 420 friendly. I rarely partake and never do so before tying, but my home smells like flower.
- My rig is right next to my radiator, which in the winter I have little control over. But I can crack open a window!
- In the summer, I have a window AC unit situated right next to the rig and an oscillating floor fan - providing optimal air flow!
Education & Experience
Telling you I've been doing rope since 2020 doesn't really communicate anything specifically. So, what does this actually mean? Well, I'm happy to paint a bit of a timeline!
In early 2020, just before lockdown, I began attending a local rope event called Rope Bite! I remember someone instructing me to tie a basic single column tie around my waist and turn it into what is called a 'Gunslinger' tie.
Over, under, left, back up...wait what? Can you show me that again? Okay, and one more time, please?
I hemmed and hawed and remember saying, "I really don't think this is for me!"
I began bottoming within the same month'ish. AH! I found my place! My first year of rope was bottoming 1-2 times a month. Despite buying my first set of nylon rope to self-tie in April of 2020, my interests in tying were limited to fostering a better understanding of what my Top(s) are needing to learn - as this was something being done to me. It wasn't until later that year I decided to try tying on another person.
Up until that point, any tying was on myself, and none of it was impressive by any stretch of the imagination - spiral futos, pentagram chest harnesses, yah know - things you can find with a quick youtube search! But Holy Cow! Tying on someone else was a game changer! I was instantly hooked and voraciously consuming tutorials on Shibari Study until in-person education became accessible again. I think perhaps some of my fiber arts background that lived in my fingers found some kinship with the fibers of the rope.
I embraced my "switchiness" that following summer of 2021. I developed other tying connections, and eventually took a couple of modules from a local studio focused on Traditional Japanese Bondage that fall. From this point on, I have consistently tied nearly every week with the occasional break here and there. By February of 2022 I was comfortably doing partial suspensions and I went to my very first Rope Conference event. Then to my second later that May. 2022 really became a pivotal year for me in experiencing other education, the joy of skill sharing, and creating community for myself locally and beyond Illinois' state lines. Since then, I've taken workshops, classes, unconference style rope events, and a handful of private lessons when I had the disposable income for them. Much of my suspension based experience didn't take off until 2023.
My very first time teaching I was invited to co-present on a friend's beginner friendly classes at my first RopeCraft in 2022. Later that year, I was approached to teach a Rope 101 Class to a group of students in Madison, Wisconsin. With these opportunities under my belt, I could feel a budding sense of joy in sharing my special interest with others. The elation in seeing someone excited to discover a new part of themselves was the next best thing to doing rope itself!
It wasn't until 2024 when I decided to invest more of an interest in teaching or presenting. Offering private lessons is my absolute favorite way to teach. I also owe a lot of gratitude to the informal educational spaces that contribute to the way I think and care for how I "do" rope - this naturally funneling into how I teach. The skill shares and the rope jams that color my memories of community that cares about how we develop and learn together will forever be my biggest motivator.
Vetting & References
Feel free to ask me to provide some names as references - although, my preferred approach to vetting is by observing the spaces someone frequents, and then asking various people that frequent those same spaces for their thoughts, opinions, and especially first hand experiences.
My Style & Approach To Play...
wESTERN INFLUENCED
While I'm sure you'll be able to spot some traditional Japanese rope bondage influences in some of the ties I do, overall my rope is inspired by mostly queer western rope folks. For this reason I tend to steer away from using terms like 'shibari' or 'kinbaku' to describe the bondage that I do.
with a queer femme gaze
As a person who is very queer and very femme, I embrace these core parts of me as they inform how I like to play with rope bondage. Soft, but not necessarily gentle. Sadistic with a slow burn approach. Hot without playing into normative roles.
body liberation & acceptance
I've been an activist in fat liberation and body acceptance spaces going back to 2011 and have thrown these values into my art - rope being no exception.
Fundamentally, rope can be explored by any person and by any body. Rope can be anything and I aim to embody this value. I'm fiercely passionate about speaking to several body movements to make rope welcoming and accessible to as many people as possible.
Savoring
Over the years I've learned to slow down and take my time. I'm someone who salivates at the idea of a slow take over, versus a sudden brash invasion. I can certainly invoke high energy - but it's often as a punctuation to my pace, versus my default.
Taking this approach, I am often remarked for my untying style. I try to practice the mindset that the scene isn't over until the last piece of rope is removed. I especially like to utilize my body in unconventional ways in manipulating someone else's body while my hands maintain control over the rope.
Photography
It is not uncommon for me to combine rope with my love of photography. I like to explore an immersive eye - leaning into pov's, detail shots, and color that is warm and evocative. Photos are entirely optional when tying with me, but can certainly add a layer of exposure and objectification that you may not have considered at first.
headspace
I like to explore a number of headspaces and feelings through rope. Some of which include:
- Helplessness and immobility
- Exposure
- Sinking into the rope and getting out of one's head.
- Slow burn sadomasochism
- Predicaments
- Facilitating a space where someone can feel held and supported